‘Tis nothing but a Dandy Ass! (1822)

VELOCIPEDE

Said Tom to Dick, ‘the other dav,

As they stood gazing on the way;—

Why, what is that-there thing,—

There? tis strange I vow ;—

It seems two wheels with wooden spring,

Darnation! see it go!

Cries Dick, that’s called Velocipede—

A creature without tail or head,

That wants nor whip nor prick,—

There’s nought to do but on and kick,

Away ’tis gone full speed!—

And will or stage or coach outrun,

In manner wonderful, indeed!

As very often it has done.

Well ! well! but what is that astride,—

There—kicking so, and tries to ride?

Wounds! how the thing does pant for breath—

Tis dying, sure, a shocking death!

What! that,—which looks—Mere, stiff as brass?

‘Tis nothing but a-Dandy Ass!

(Original poetic effusions: Moral, religious, and sentimental, A S Grenville, 1822, p. 75)

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